My Uncle James

Here is the poem 'My Uncle James' by Margaret Mahy:

My Uncle James
Was a Terrible Man
He cooked his wife
In the frying pan.

She's far too tender
To bake or boil!
He cooked her up
In peanut oil.

But sometime later-
A month or more-
There came a knock
On my uncle's door.

A great green devil
Was standing there.
He caught my uncle
By the hair.

"Are you the uncle
That cooked his wife,
And leads such a terribly
Wicked Life?"

My uncle yowled
Like an old tom cat,
But the devil took him,
For all of that.

Oh, take a tip
From my Uncle James!
Don't throw stones
And don't call names.

Just be as good
As ever you can-
And never cook aunts
In a frying pan!

-Margaret Mahy